Lord Arthur Savile’s Crime

by Constance Cox
Loft Theatre Company, April 1991
Director: Denzil Pugh

Yours truly as the eponymous peer in Constance Cox’s Lord Arthur Savile’s Crime, based on the story by Oscar Wilde. Bryan Ferriman is my devoted manservant, Baines.

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Bryan looks on as I conduct business with Herr Winkelkopf, a self-styled anarchist, played by Ron Webb. The cream suit is a favourite of the Loft wardrobe department and still makes regular appearances on stage – these days, sadly, with younger and slimmer actors than I inside it.

Covering my tracks with my fiancée Sybil, played by the gorgeous Julie Godfrey (née Parsons). Now a Loft regular, this was Julie’s first local production after moving to the area from Brighton. Sue Moore appears to have sat on something sharp.

Ron Webb is clearly bored rigid by my performance, while Marlene Penn looks on in horror. The chaise longue is another veteran performer, recognised by Loft audiences in show after show and greeted like an old friend.

Bryan attempts surreptitiously to point out that the woman in K19 has fallen asleep, while Julie checks the result of the 3.30 at Kempton Park and I practise my Tim Nice-But-Dim expression.